Monday, February 24, 2014

The Fundamental Relationship - 7 Posts in 7 Days: Day 1

I'm participating in the 7 Posts in 7 Days link-up at Conversion Diary, and this is my post for Day 1.  Go here to read the posts from the other bloggers in the link-up.  And go here to find a list of all 7 of my posts for this round of the link-up.

As I've gotten older, I've looked at my life and come to the conclusion that I'm just not very good at relationships.  When I try to identify the reason, I come up with more than one possibility.

  1. My introversion makes it easier for me to live in my head than in the real world, and real relationships are fairly difficult to develop when you're lost in fantasy land half the time.
  2. My social awkwardness and anxiety means that the idea of talking to strangers is, at best, uncomfortable and slightly intimidating, and at worst, absolutely terrifying.  I don't even give myself the chance to build relationships when I'm too anxious to make new friends.  And people tend to be uninterested in making an effort with me because my awkwardness makes me retreat into silence, and I then seem uninterested and uninteresting.
  3. I'm probably too self-centered.  I think and talk about me and what I like too much, instead of focusing on the other person.  Ain't nobody got time for people like that.
  4. I don't make the effort or take the time necessary to really develop most of my relationships deeply.  Other than my husband, most of my relationships seem to be more surface level.  I keep waiting for the other person to show interest in me (because I'm one of those people who wants to feel wanted), and when nothing happens, instead of just making the effort myself, I just get upset and let the relationship slide. (Yeah, I know.  Real mature, right?)
I've noticed this trend in various relationships throughout my life, but nowhere is it more noticeable than in the Fundamental Relationship:  my relationship with God.  It is seriously lacking right now, and I know it is no one's fault but my own.  While social-awkwardness is not really an issue when it comes to God, all of those other problems definitely contribute to the problem.


I'm thinking my Lenten discipline this year really needs to focus on me building my relationship with the Lord.  I need to make time multiple times a day to talk to Him, to listen to Him, to just be in His presence.  I need to concentrate on making the Holy Trinity the central persons in my life, and really make an effort that I haven't made in a long time.  Hopefully, getting this Fundamental Relationship onto a firm foundation will help me to feel closer to God (which I'm not really feeling right now), grow in holiness, and have a positive impact on my ability to have good relationships in the rest of my life, as well.

3 comments:

  1. I think relationships are just hard. For everyone. We all make mistakes in them. And yes, having good relationships is time consuming! It seems to me that in the days of social media and busy calendars it is getting harder and harder to find those really close friendships. Fwiw--I'm the middle man. I find people who make good friends for one another and then, I'm just dangling there at the side. I think your plan to start with God and work on that relationship is the best plan yet! He is the best friend.

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    Replies
    1. You're right, social media does make it harder. Everyone assumes that they're keeping up with their friends on FB, and don't make the time to actually spend time with them in person.

      The middle man, eh? That's got to be kind of frustrating!

      Delete
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